Episode 4
Coming off two unsuccessful blind dates, Parrish Diaz is encouraged by his friend Dani to attend his 3rd blind date, which was set up by his buddy Blue.
Pushing the Pause Button--Knowing When It's Time for a Break
I recently had a client who came to me after ending her marriage and spending eight months in the dating world. After a series of bad experiences, Leah was feeling stressed, frustrated and convinced that the pool of available men was both shallow and tainted. After a few coaching sessions, it became clear to me exactly what she needed to do-take a break-and get her single self together.
If you're feeling less than successful in your quest to find a mate, see if you recognize yourself in the following scenarios. If so, you too may need to press the pause button on dating.
1. If your glass is half empty. In other words, you've been on the dating scene for months, nothing has worked out, and the idea of dating has become more of a hassle than a head rush. Sound familiar? Then you might need a hiatus. If you're feeling negative and cynical about meeting new people or are convinced a relationship is never going to happen, your best bet might be to sit out for a while and partake in a little attitude readjustment. Positivity is a real mate-magnet, so give yourself time to breath and find joy again before you head back out into the mix.
2. If you recently had a bad breakup or divorce. Whatever the reasons for your split, there is no point in trying to begin a new relationship when your head and heart are still stuck in the old one. After a bad break-up, you need to give yourself time to grieve and heal. It might take six months or more to come to a point where the hurt, anger, and love for your old partner dissolves enough to allow you to seek a new companion without the lurking ghosts of relationships past.
3. If you haven't fully gotten acquainted with the newly single you. Getting over the hurt and pain of a failed relationship is the first step towards healing a heartbreak, but getting to know yourself as a single after being in a long-term relationship is equally important. Take the time to learn all the amazing things about you that only independence can teach you. Discovering new passions, interests and your own opinions is not only going to make you feel revitalized, but infinitely more interesting to a potential partner as well.
4. If you're afraid to be alone. Or maybe you're unemployed or temporarily without a home. Whatever your current baggage, serial dating because you're looking for someone to fill some gap (emotional, financial or otherwise) in your life, is both unfair and setting yourself up for failure. It's no one else's job to make you happy. Do the work you need to do be complete and content as a solo before looking to become a pair. Everyone has baggage, but if yours can't fit into their overhead compartment, you need to park it at home until you've unpacked.
Don't be afraid to slow down and take a breath. Truth be told, it's often when you're not looking for something, that it sneaks up to find you!
I recently had a client who came to me after ending her marriage and spending eight months in the dating world. After a series of bad experiences, Leah was feeling stressed, frustrated and convinced that the pool of available men was both shallow and tainted. After a few coaching sessions, it became clear to me exactly what she needed to do-take a break-and get her single self together.
If you're feeling less than successful in your quest to find a mate, see if you recognize yourself in the following scenarios. If so, you too may need to press the pause button on dating.
1. If your glass is half empty. In other words, you've been on the dating scene for months, nothing has worked out, and the idea of dating has become more of a hassle than a head rush. Sound familiar? Then you might need a hiatus. If you're feeling negative and cynical about meeting new people or are convinced a relationship is never going to happen, your best bet might be to sit out for a while and partake in a little attitude readjustment. Positivity is a real mate-magnet, so give yourself time to breath and find joy again before you head back out into the mix.
2. If you recently had a bad breakup or divorce. Whatever the reasons for your split, there is no point in trying to begin a new relationship when your head and heart are still stuck in the old one. After a bad break-up, you need to give yourself time to grieve and heal. It might take six months or more to come to a point where the hurt, anger, and love for your old partner dissolves enough to allow you to seek a new companion without the lurking ghosts of relationships past.
3. If you haven't fully gotten acquainted with the newly single you. Getting over the hurt and pain of a failed relationship is the first step towards healing a heartbreak, but getting to know yourself as a single after being in a long-term relationship is equally important. Take the time to learn all the amazing things about you that only independence can teach you. Discovering new passions, interests and your own opinions is not only going to make you feel revitalized, but infinitely more interesting to a potential partner as well.
4. If you're afraid to be alone. Or maybe you're unemployed or temporarily without a home. Whatever your current baggage, serial dating because you're looking for someone to fill some gap (emotional, financial or otherwise) in your life, is both unfair and setting yourself up for failure. It's no one else's job to make you happy. Do the work you need to do be complete and content as a solo before looking to become a pair. Everyone has baggage, but if yours can't fit into their overhead compartment, you need to park it at home until you've unpacked.
Don't be afraid to slow down and take a breath. Truth be told, it's often when you're not looking for something, that it sneaks up to find you!
Consider this...
Lori Bryant-Woolridge is a sensuality coach and advocate for healthy, sensual lifestyles. An Emmy award-winning writer, she has authored three best selling novels.
