Episode 5
After striking out on date #3, Parrish gets back into auditioning mode, and then meets up with Blue for a little heart to heart talk.
Dealing with Rejection
One of the worst things about dating for both sexes is the nasty fear of rejection. Nobody likes to feel unwanted and undesirable, and getting rejected can take a hefty toll on one's confidence.
With this in mind, let's talk a little bit about your role as the rejecter. The reality is that just as everyone you are attracted to won't be attracted to you; neither will you be interested in all who find you interesting. Those skilled in the ways of social charm also understand that turning a suitor down is every bit an art as turning them on. So, before you head out to the club again, consider these three simple tips to help you turn away someone's advances with the kindness and respect they deserve.
1. Keep your dating karma alive by ditching the attitude. Those who respectfully approach showing you attention are gifting you with a compliment. Be gracious as you decline their gift. If someone you're not interested in approaches you, smile and be polite before discouraging them. Leave them with their pride intact. And avoid the tooth sucking, eye-rolling and "You wish" kind of compliments, as they walk away. This is not only kind, but important, as the eyes of other potential dates may be watching to see what you do. Bottom line: remain approachable even when you decline another's advances.
2. What's Your Exit Line? As part of your charm arsenal, both ladies and gents should have a gentle, friendly exit line ready for those who don't spark your interest. Mine? "Thank you, but husband really hates it when I date, but thanks so much. You've made my night." Delivered, of course, with a genuine smile. Make your exit line light and positive but definitive. If they keep up the pursuit, be polite but direct, "Thank you, but I'm not interested" and turn or walk away if you feel the need.
3. Humor helps. If you've been on a few dates and have decided that this relationship isn't working for you, humor, when used with skill and respect, can lighten up the atmosphere and help clear the air for real talk. Your playful tone will provide the exit ramp needed for them to pride fully depart from what could be an embarrassing conversation.
4. A touch of self-deprecation goes a long way. Self-deprecating humor that is honest and plays to your common experience is another effective way to let someone you're not interested in down easy. Jokingly bringing up one of your mildly annoying quirks or questionable habits is a humorous reminder of why you're both better off being friends. It also puts the onus on you for being the one who doesn't measure up, not them.
Again, like with so many things in life, we're back to the Golden Rule when it comes to letting someone down easy. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
One of the worst things about dating for both sexes is the nasty fear of rejection. Nobody likes to feel unwanted and undesirable, and getting rejected can take a hefty toll on one's confidence.
With this in mind, let's talk a little bit about your role as the rejecter. The reality is that just as everyone you are attracted to won't be attracted to you; neither will you be interested in all who find you interesting. Those skilled in the ways of social charm also understand that turning a suitor down is every bit an art as turning them on. So, before you head out to the club again, consider these three simple tips to help you turn away someone's advances with the kindness and respect they deserve.
1. Keep your dating karma alive by ditching the attitude. Those who respectfully approach showing you attention are gifting you with a compliment. Be gracious as you decline their gift. If someone you're not interested in approaches you, smile and be polite before discouraging them. Leave them with their pride intact. And avoid the tooth sucking, eye-rolling and "You wish" kind of compliments, as they walk away. This is not only kind, but important, as the eyes of other potential dates may be watching to see what you do. Bottom line: remain approachable even when you decline another's advances.
2. What's Your Exit Line? As part of your charm arsenal, both ladies and gents should have a gentle, friendly exit line ready for those who don't spark your interest. Mine? "Thank you, but husband really hates it when I date, but thanks so much. You've made my night." Delivered, of course, with a genuine smile. Make your exit line light and positive but definitive. If they keep up the pursuit, be polite but direct, "Thank you, but I'm not interested" and turn or walk away if you feel the need.
3. Humor helps. If you've been on a few dates and have decided that this relationship isn't working for you, humor, when used with skill and respect, can lighten up the atmosphere and help clear the air for real talk. Your playful tone will provide the exit ramp needed for them to pride fully depart from what could be an embarrassing conversation.
4. A touch of self-deprecation goes a long way. Self-deprecating humor that is honest and plays to your common experience is another effective way to let someone you're not interested in down easy. Jokingly bringing up one of your mildly annoying quirks or questionable habits is a humorous reminder of why you're both better off being friends. It also puts the onus on you for being the one who doesn't measure up, not them.
Again, like with so many things in life, we're back to the Golden Rule when it comes to letting someone down easy. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Consider this...
Lori Bryant-Woolridge is a sensuality coach and advocate for healthy, sensual lifestyles. An Emmy award-winning writer, she has authored three best selling novels.
